I get knocked down but I get up again [becoming resilient]
‘I get knocked down, but I get up again, you ain’t never gonna keep me down’
Do you remember that song?
I had to google who sang it…Chumbawamba, in case you’re interested
This is going to be all about resilience
As a young adult (and as a kid) I was extremely sensitive and not resilient (I wanted to write ‘weak’ there but I am practising being kind to myself so I will say ‘not resilient’)
I don’t know whether my increase in resilience has come from just getting older and wiser (HA probably not)
It might have something to do with that, but probably more to do with the personal development work that I’ve been doing on my mindset, and the approach that I try to take towards being kind and patient with myself
As a kid I was INCREDIBLY impatient, I just didn’t know how to wait for things
I had no ability to appreciate the journey, and I just wanted the things that I wanted RIGHT NOW
As an adult, I’ve learned (really, embarrassingly slowly actually) that the journey is way more valuable than the destination or result
Along the way, the knock downs, the times when EVERYTHING just seems to be aligned to make life hard, the set backs….these all teach us something valuable and can be used to develop your resilience armour
At the time, things going wrong, pushing your buttons and taking your time and energy just feel AWFUL and of course we would choose NOT to have to suffer through these times
BUT we don’t always get to choose what happens to us
If we have family and friends that we love, there are possibly going to be bereavements and illnesses
If we have close relationships, there are possibly going to be arguments
If we have things that we care about, there are going to be events that cause us emotional strife
If we are trying to make changes, there may be road blocks and challenges that are tiring and hard
We can’t stop these things from happening, but we do get to choose HOW we cope with them when the time comes
The younger version of me would stomp around, blaming everyone else, feeling aggrieved and spending days/weeks/months on feeling crap
It didn’t even occur to me back then that I get to choose my response
Our initial response is more knee jerk, it’s ok to react badly to something bad, that’s totally human and normal
But our follow up response is what ends up defining our mental and physical well-being for the next days, weeks and months
Through building up my resilience I’ve been able to see and feel a significant difference in how I cope with physical and emotional challenges
My first response is still the basic human response, but I am now able to separate myself quite quickly from the emotion which might previously have led me down the road of
- Poor mental health
- Emotional eating
- Anger/frustration/doubt/shame
Now that I get to press pause on the wallowing that I used to do, it gives me space to make a plan and to come through the bad times with a more structured supportive action plan in place
I even occasionally ask others for help ;-)
This had led me down a road of being much more consistent and happy day to day
I can’t say for 100% what exactly I have done that has led me here, but I know for sure that I have worked hard on
- Developing a more peaceful mind
- Being kinder to myself
- Being more patient with myself
- Sleeping more
- Asking for help more
- Taking time to understand my feelings
- Fuelling my body with foods that make my body feel good
- Doing more things that make me smile and laugh
It wasn’t an instant thing, but through making efforts in these areas, I’ve just noticed that I feel waaaaayyyyyyy more resilient, capable and empowered!
I hope that something in this email helps you to review your routine, habits or lifestyle and see where perhaps you could be more kind and patient with yourself with a view to developing your own resilience as your armour to the day to day crap that we have to deal with
If you need to talk about it, email me right back and we can chat >> nicola@rossellfitness.co.uk
In the mean time, have a laugh at me falling down BUT getting up again, because I am RESILIENT!