Try and take away my pudding and I’ll bite your face off!

Are you plagued by guilt when you eat out?

Yesterday evening Elliot said to me

‘You need to make me feel guilty about going to Greggs’

Turns out the little rascal goes once a day for breakfast or lunch

Or sometimes for both

I don’t have anything against Greggs

In fact I was walking past the other day at lunch time

And it just smelled absolutely delicious

I had to remind myself that I had food prepared at home

The smell was alluring

And the food tastes ok too

And it’s super convenient, fast and cheap

What human being can resist that forever?

I have two qualms here

Just because I work in nutrition and health

Does not mean that I judge you on what you eat

It gets pretty annoying actually

‘Oh I bet you never eat cheese’

Yes I do I eat it all the time, I love it in my omelettes

‘But what about pudding, you don’t eat dessert do you?’

Pahaha yes I love dessert

Try and take away my pudding and I’ll bite your face off!

Woahhh apparently I get aggressive

I must be hungry!

The best one that I hear….

‘Don’t judge me, but I’m going to have…..[insert food choice here]’

Can I make this perfectly plain…

I do not give a rats ass what you are eating

I am not counting your calories

I am not analysing the fat content

I ONLY do this when someone is PAYING me to work on their nutrition

For the rest of you [Elliot]

Unless you are paying me to work with you

Assume that I don’t care what you are eating

YOU should care about what you are eating, for your own good

But until it’s my job to care, then I am not paying attention

Eat your food in peace and leave the guilt at the door

This is akin to me asking my dentist friend to fill my teeth over dinner

Or over lunch asking my doctor friends to diagnose the weird spot on my…..

Well let’s not go there!

I am not responsible for helping you to make better decisions

If you cannot make basic decisions for yourself about your OWN health

Then we would be a terrible fit to work together anyway

Don’t bother applying

I don’t hand hold you

And I will not coddle you

You are an adult and you need to take full responsibility

Once you have done that

Come back to me and we’ll talk about an action plan

Apply here if this is you NOW

Nicola ‘hangry’ Rossell

Nicola Rossell