Do you know yourself?
Who are you? Do you know yourself?
* Spoiler alert *
I read Gone Girl whilst I was away on holiday over Xmas in Venice and if you do not wish to have the ending of the book ruined for you then look away now and come back to this when you’ve finished.
The main character Amy is a psychopath basically, it doesn’t help that she married a complete tool, but she was playing god with people’s lives way before that. The ending of the book was frustrating to me, neither her nor her prat of a husband get any sort of justice given to them. I suppose at the very least they end up with each other, which is in itself a prison sentence that they both deserve.
The reason I bring this up, is because the main theme of the book is that Amy is playing a variety of characters according to the people she is around at the time.
One of her characters is ‘cool wife’ she pretends to be an understanding and lenient wife whilst her friends treat their partners like dancing monkeys.
This brought to my mind how we behave when we are in a stressful or unknown situation. I observed this when I first started at university, I couldn’t understand how to fit in with people because they all seemed to be playing a game. It had never occurred to me to change my personality to fit in; I’d never had to do that before.
I found it difficult to make real friends in the first month at uni because I wasn’t prepared to go out and get wasted in a town that I didn’t know with people that I didn’t know, I wasn’t comfortable doing that, but this seemed to be the way that everyone was forging friendships. After about 3-4 weeks the bravado wore off and people couldn’t keep up the charade any more and their true personalities shone through, and for the most part they were nice genuine people.
But they felt the need to change their behaviour in this new scary situation, they couldn’t envision being included in the fun, if they were themselves.
So how often do you adapt your behaviour, your personality when you are in a new environment or perhaps you do it all of the time and you’re just screaming inside to be yourself.
Why do we not have the confidence to be ourselves and just let it ‘all hang out’?
We are scared of rejection, we want to be accepted and we observe how others are accepted and we try to replicate what they do.
It takes a confident being to truly express themselves as themselves all of the time, because we all have ugly behaviours and we don’t want to be rejected for our weaknesses.
But we cannot be strong all of the time, it’s ok to have ‘stuff’, even superman had his kryptonite!
Everything that makes you, you, makes you unique and that’s what we should be celebrating in society. We should be commending unique and bizarre talents, we should be impressed by things we have never seen before, but we seem to be chasing a reality where everyone is striving to be the same.
So here is your take away task, write down 3 things that you think are unique about you, and start being proud of what makes you different. Stand out from the crowd.
Oh and don’t bother reading Gone Girl, I fell foul of following the crowd there, I was taken in by the reviews and adverts and thought I need to get involved with this book cause everyone else is. Waste of money, and my time!